


Shuffle

by Olem12



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AruAni, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Other, Playlist, dearlordidkhowtotag, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29959569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olem12/pseuds/Olem12
Summary: A bunch of one-shots, inspired by my favorite songs.Also, this is my only way to cope with the manga, lol.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë
Kudos: 4





	Shuffle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi reflects on multiple things about his feelings and the terrible what-ifs, during an encounter with the Beast Titan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * SPOILER ALERT *
> 
> Based off chapter 80 in the manga... and season 3 episode 16 I think..?
> 
> aaaaand, the magnificent song by lewis capaldi. Bless whoever made the snk vibes playlist on spotify.
> 
> Forgot to proof-read... PLUS english isn't really my first language, so if you find any mistakes DO let me know :)

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you" was the first thought Levi ever had upon meeting Erwin.

Having a 6'2 man slamming your face into a dirt pond, right after having a knife fight isn't probably the most romantic way to meet someone.  
But he was just a young boy when they first met and regardless of how stern he might appear, had a soft heart, still does.

Too much for his own liking. He wanted the ground to open and swallowed him when his deep hatred became admiration and soon enough butterflies appeared and he found himself staring a little too much those dreamy blue eyes.

The same ones that seem so dark right now. Where did all the glow go? He was too busy looking after Eren to notice it.

And he was too much of a fool as to ever admit that he no longer hated him and that his admiration truly changed into something else.

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." He'll repeat whenever they were alone, but he was just kidding himself.

Why did he ever waste so much time pretending not to have feelings for him? Now was too late.

What would the world think if they ever found that, that _humanity's strongest soldier_ , is in fact a coward?

..."Because the battle is not over yet," Erwin said.

The boulders crushing and the screams of the new recruits were the only thing filling the silence.

His body felt heavy, what was this? Why did it turn out like this? Was there something he could've said to make it all stop hurting?

"It's all... in my head, isn't it?" Erwin continued "It's just a childish delusion, right?"

Levi kneeled before him. The only man he's ever looked up to. Respected. Loved. 

And now he was about to make the biggest act of love ever done.

"You have fought well. It's only thanks to you that we've come this far." Levi couldn't believe the stupid words that he was letting out, but it was the right thing to do. 

So he continued, "give up on that dream and die, led those new recruits to hell" Now there was no turning back, "And I will take down the beast titan".

Erwin seemed relieved, he gave him the weakest smiles, and Levi's insides jumped.

But he shrugged it off, there was no time for that, he was late. Painfully late, there was no point now in wording out how he felt.

As he watched him charge against the fucking monkey, he wondered if there was anything he could've said to make the blonde's heart, beat better.

* * *

If he had let his walls down back then, would things have gone differently for them? Would he love him too?

"Levi," Hange called, for how long has he been lost in his thoughts? "he's gone now".

"Oh," the pain was nearly unbearable. Maybe he should've been selfish and chose to save him. Ignore everyone else wishes, including Erwin's, and just keep him to his side. "I see".

How awful and ironic is it, that now that he's gone all he can hear are the words that he needed to say.

"I love you", he whispered, mostly to himself. 

It was pointless now, he couldn't hear him. 

There was no right time to say the words anyway. Maybe time heals, but this won't.


End file.
